each breath was made hesitation

i really must say i do enjoy babysitting six peticular children on my street even though two never seem to stop crying, one tries very hard to make me trip and fall so he can get a good laugh, i get yelled at if i dont use the right sippy cup but it gives me an excuse to read little kid books out loud which is something i miss, play old boardgames that used to occupy me for hours and play dress up and have tea with stuffed animals silly i know but fun in only the way doing these things can be
i have also created a list of goals and things that i WILL do this summer, some of which include, starting piano lessons again, doing a pottery class (because it looks very fun) reading many many books and hanging out with friends no matter how far away they live
it is almost 11 o clock and i am soooooo tired from working all day and then babysitting yet i cant sleep does it make sense to be wide awake and dead asleep at the same time? i am just kind of typing and hoping that these words are making some sense
i was suppose to go to a golf match with GK and amanda parker but my dad couldnt find his car keys and my mom was at surgery and we couldnt get to the place and i really wanted to go, even though i wasnt going to be with GK or AP instead i was forced to walk to "windy hill" and play with my dad, he can make 5 mintues 5 freaking hours anyways to get to the point it was ridiculoulsy slow despite the fact that we had a golf cart
well i got my schedule for school next year as a junior which i really cant believe yet because that just seems to old for me, but i am very excited becuase many wonderful things happen at this stage of ur life (So i have heard) but anyway...
period 1 Spanish 3 with Senora Edge (again)and gracie if u arent in this class i will probably rip my heart out
period 2 communiy outreach
period 3 christology w/ paulette
period 4 american literature w/ mr parisi!
period 5 citizens and the law w/ sr. stella
period 6 environmental science w/ conolly
period 7 algebra 2 w. cunningham!
period 8 us history w/ mcnaulty!

im feeling kinda bumbed out right now, i have done so much studying this weekend and still feel like i have so much more left to do and im worried about my exams because i never really do that hot on them...and i dunno if its stress but i feel like i am putting so much effort into a some relationships with people that are just going no where and i dunno if it means more to me then the other person and this makes me sad because i really want to be friends and i really want to have oddles of fun but i sometimes feel like im the only one

what day is it and in what month this clock never seemed so alive....

i love to randomly go on secret excursions to my attic and find all these random objects...it makes me so happy, i feel like a pirate who as just found the treasure chest, i could spend all day and night there without food and just look at stuff

since my grandmother just had a stroke she will no longer be living in her house, instead a nursing home so my dad and aunt are cleaning it out and my grandmother has all these things from when she was younger and could go out she has all these ancienct purses and jewlery and dress up clothes that my aunt was just going to give away...instead i called and ask her if i could have a few suveniors of my own and im very excited

this whole week has been such a blurr with school and i dont no what to make of it, i have not slept right in days and i dont no why... i am feeling stressed with all the massive amounts of homework, projects and studying that i have to do in these next two weeks and i have golf states monday which i dont feel prepared for and i really need to get my behind back in shape if i plan on going to a running camp to get myself in more shape for the running season alkjsfiuhew78dfsffkjgpe

today we got our junior rings and it was nice i keep looking at mine, but i must admit i am alittle jealous of ana because i asked for the biggest ring they had and she got a bigger one i guess we both wanted to be weird and have massive rings but she was the lucky one, oh well i am still in love with mine
i miss my mom, and i want her to come home
im going out to dinner with dad and rickpat
<3333333333

ok so its been like 40872761230987643764 since the last time that i updated, i guess u could say that a lot of stuff has gone on in my life lately, for instance my 16th birthday was yesterday, my grandma had stroke, gracie went west, my awesome friends had a suprise birthday for me, iona called me out of the blue and there are ten days left of school...which to be quite honest im not sure how i feel about this, i promise to refrain from going into corny details about how wonderful this year has been as a whole but its truely how i feel and im afraid for it to end, im afraid of another summer were i become best friends with my wall and the next door neighbors cat, ok so maybe that didnt happen but still

lalala i need to shower and to someones graduation party

but i solemly swear to be better at updating girl scouts honor

p.s. i saw the most beautiful rainbow yesterday

 

i wish i could be that girl who made u laugh
but lately i just feel like a walking zombie
i think about myself and i must be so boring
i want to hang out with people so bad but i
worry i would make them to bored
i hate hate hate hate hate it

ohh me oh myy i really do loooove golf no matter how many mistakes i make...today was my first match ever and it was kind of lovely. i played horrendisouly but im not worried. i actaully wasnt even suppose to play today but gracie just had to have a root canal and couldnt play, so i had to take her spot, she would have done a much better job. the team was wonderful and i played with two gentlemen i must say, one of them was named gabe and he had longer hair then me and i kind of liked it

i dont feel like going into a lot of detail right now, but i had a wonderful vacation in floirda were i played even more golf and while i was there i got golfing shoes! chels went to new york and she brought me back the cutest change purse ever!!!!

i have wayyy to much studying to do for tomorrow

grace i hope u feel better soon because i really dont like not seeing u for this long and i kept starring at ur empty spanish seat thinking u were there

i got runnig camp information and i am sooo excited, i want to go pack everything NOW

michelle paquette we need to have another get together soon, i love u and i cant wait till this no parent pool partyyyy u bad ass u

i just got home from golf, and despite the fact that i thought i was going to pee in my pants, due to the fact of who i was playing with hemm hemm robin english...well let me tell u it showed on the first couple holes, but after a while i relaxed and just soaked up the sun, and realized that despite my thinking robin has emotions too. i also got to play with gk, which in my mind, is always a treat

i have come to realize that hugs me the world to me, seriosuly i love hugs, and when people give me a hug it brightens up my whole day and i forget everything for a moment

i cant wait till summer

and i like country music no matter what anyone says

NEW LIVE JOURNAL!!!
yayayay i am very excited
that is all.